I always feel uneasy during the week between Christmas and New Years. After thinking about it, and over-analyzing in my own personal neurotic way, I believe it is because I am not busy.
Why am I not busy? Well maybe because I take off work most of the week, and procrastinate on the million projects I have planned for this space in time.
Get tax stuff together…..
Clean out cars, and drawers, and other scary places that haven’t been cleaned for awhile….
Do stuff with my kids who are off of school….
But, it doesn’t do the trick. I have anxiety and in the end I only tackle about 30% of the planned projects.
Is Down Time a Waste of Time?
What it comes down to is that if I totally relax, and just hang out at the house, I feel I have wasted precious God-given time. Now this is totally ridiculous because as a counselor I would tell anyone else “You deserve downtime. Even Jesus rested when He needed it.”
What About the Momentum?
Running through my analytical scripts I settle on my fear of not being able to re-gain momentum.
Think about it.
Pre-Christmas is all about momentum. Can I get all of my work done, my gifts bought, parties attended and a Christmas feast complete for Christmas day? I am all about praying and thanking Jesus as I merrily run around getting everything done. People need me. My kids are already off school. Excitement is in the air. There are beautiful Christmas programs to worship at.
Then Christmas is over and I can finally take a breath.
But what if I crash. What if I can’t get momentum going again.
I guess it comes down to fear.
When all is quiet, who needs me?
He Knows How I Feel
Then I think about Jesus. He served and healed and we still didn’t really understand our need. He died on the cross at our hands and still sacrificed for us even though we didn’t believe we needed Him. Only because He loved us.
I remind myself of this.
Thank God I have a Savior who came and became one of us. Because of this I know that He knows. He knows how I feel. He has faced much, much worse.
Then I remind myself I take care of my family because I love them, not because they say they need me.
I serve my clients because I care about their needs.
If I Focus on Him
Once New Years is over and my schedule is back to normal I will start writing consistently again. I will start seeing clients again. And my kids will be back in school all too soon.
I must remind myself that if I stay focused on the Lord…
…..He will bring me work.
…..He will calm my fears.
…..He will recharge my energy.
Unfortunately, if I don’t stop fretting, I will still have many projects put on hold til the next holiday.
This is an annual tradition I don’t want to continue.
I will move closer to God.
I will trust in His strength and guidance.
I will get some projects done.
I will read the novel I just purchased….sit on the porch with my dogs….enjoy quiet dinners with the kids…..and kick off the New Year with a bang.
How about you?